Wisdom From the Neighborhood

"Peace means far more than the opposite of war." -Fred Rogers

Fred Rogers [March 20, 1928 – February 27, 2003]

This week has been brutal. So much hate flying, finger pointing, and invectives hurled. It’s been the best possible week to take a step away from it all and read this gem by Fred Rogers: Wisdom From the World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things To Remember.

As I read this I actually felt quite guilty. You see, I didn’t particularly like Mr. Rogers when I was a kid. Even as a kid I didn’t like to talk about it. It seemed wrong somehow. He seemed perfectly nice. I had nothing against what he said. He just talked too slowly. I didn’t like it when adults talked slowly. It felt like they were talking slowly because they thought kids heard slowly. But, I didn’t hear slowly at all. I heard fast. (I still do. I actually struggle to understand audio books until I speed them up to at least 1.5x speed. My husband thinks I’m weird. Maybe… Ok, Probably.)

So, it was surprising to me when I was looking at books and this one practically jumped off the shelf at me. I tried to put it back. Even my husband was skeptical and suggested I not get it. But, it was one of those weird moments that felt as though something were compelling me, so I caved and ended up buying it.

I’m amused at this for many reasons, not least of which because on the day I squeezed this book into my reading schedule, I was surprised to turn the pages to find not one, but both of my favorite childhood poems by Robert Frost, as seen from Mr. Roger’s perspective! This, on the same day that, earlier in the morning, I publish a post written the previous week (before I bought the book) about those very same two poems. (Homage To Frost) Ok, the poems are popular ones, but the timing of it still gave me goosebumps. The only poems mentioned in the book are poems written by Fred Rogers and the two by Robert Frost. I love it when those little moments happen in life, the feel of the universe aligning.

That wasn’t the only thing. As I sat down in what I thought would be a cursory glance, I ended up not being able to put the book down. Practically every page held some hidden gem of one form or another and the flags I use to mark special spots started to make the book look like a fluorescent miniature United Nations. I put far too many flags on far more pages than usual, despite my attempts to be stingy.¹

As to my feeling guilty about Mr. Rogers, the guilt I felt was in no small part because I realized that I had not appreciated Mister Rogers enough to be madly in love with him as a kid. I regret that. I really should have been! I think everybody should be in love with Mr. Rogers! I think the man is both a genius and saint and am willing to shout that to the rooftops. In fact, if I had to choose one book that every adult in the world should read, it just might be this one. It’s applicable regardless of whether you have children in your life or not. It is actually quite philosophical. Buy it for the coffee table or the bathroom or keep it in your purse or computer bag, and relish in tiny bits of wisdom that can read in a few seconds, but contemplated for long after.

From the very beginning, the book gives us a glimpse at the man who was Mister Rogers. The Forward, a lovely homage in and of itself, written by his wife, begins with a quote by Bessie Anderson Stanley:

“He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much; who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of little children, who has filled his niche and accomplished his task, who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul, who has never lacked appreciation of Earth’s beauty or failed to express it, who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had, whose life was an inspiration, whose memory a benediction.”

Mrs. Rogers describes the quote as one of the many Mr. Rogers kept neatly folded in his wallet. He apparently collected wisdom and gave himself reminders of what he hoped to strive towards in his daily life, a beacon and model for us all.

Each page has its own message to be pondered, like page 89:

We need to help people to discover the true meaning of love. Love is generally confused with dependence. Those of us who have grown in true love know that we can love only in proportion to our capacity for independence.

Or, stating the nuance largely missing from current trends in culture:

We want to raise our children so that they can take a sense of pleasure in both their own heritage and the diversity of others.

Or, better yet, page 116:

It came to me ever so slowly that the best way to know the truth was to begin trusting what my inner truth was…and trying to share it—not right away—only after I had worked hard at trying to understand it.

One might go so far as to say that if we had all been raised with this book as a textbook, we would not be in the current predicament of unhappiness, depression, and (e.g. social media) addiction. His messages are replete with reminders, entreaties, and enlightenments. He reminds us of what it is to be human and echoes the writings of the great saints.

There is no normal life that is free of pain. It’s the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth.

Or, as one who has spent any time on Substack can truly relate to:

I find out more and more every day how important it is for people to share their stories.

I came away from the book with not only a new appreciation for the man behind the red sweater I recall so vividly from childhood, but also with a deeper sense of peace. If only everyone read and incorporated what Fred Rogers had to share with the world, we would all be one giant leap closer to world peace.

That’s what I think. What are you thoughts? Did you watch Mr. Rogers? Your kids? Do you have a favorite Mr. Roger’s quote or memory? Likewise, were you like me when I was a kid and not a big fan?

More and more I’ve come to understand that listening is one of the most important things we can do for one another. Whether the other be an adult or a child, our engagement in listening to who that person is can often be our greatest gift. Whether that person is speaking or playing or dancing, building or singing or painting, if we care, we can listen.

Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. I don’t write just to write. I write to spark thought, engage in conversation, and take in differing viewpoint. I would love to hear your thoughts! I do care and will do my best to listen with an open heart.

1. The only other book I’ve had this happen in is called The Manipulative Child: How to Regain Control and Raise Resilient, Resourceful, and Independent Kids by Swihart and Cotter, which I loved so much that I twisted arms of parents of students I taught to get them to read it as well. I highly suggest every parent and teacher read The Manipulative Child as it helps us understand ourselves and our children.